Too Many Choices
by Katie316
Summary: Post S2. Right now its just Meredith going through the motions of the aftermath of prom night. But it will involve the details of everyone soon.CHAPTER 6 UP! Addie and Derek stuff. Please R&R! Will be MerDer.
1. Meredith?

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or and of the characters.**_

**_Please read and review!_**

Meredith looked back to Derek. He was looking at her again, wanting her again. His pale blue eyes shone brighterthan they had in months, and he had a hopeful half-cocked smile on his face. She loved him so much, uncontrollably, but how did she know this time would be different? How did she know that this time he would leave his wife?

She shifted her eyes over to Finn. Finn had plans. Fin was perfect. He was scary and damaged just like her. But unlike Derek, Finn wants to put her back together, not lead her into an exam room for a quick bang before going back to his wife. Finn didn't want to make her worse off. But there's the one biggest issue: Finn wasn't Derek... And Derek was who she wanted. It wouldn't be fair to lead Finn on when her heart belonged to Derek.

"Meredith?" Derek said again, the smile faded from his face. She looked back to him. God he was so beautiful. She loved him so much it hurt. But she could not handle this.

Meredith raised her eyes to the ceiling as if waiting for a sign from the heavens that she had started to become spectical of. She looked back and forth and finally said, "Izzie really needs me right now, I'm going to go with them," she looked to Finn, "My car is here anyway but thanks".

She looked at them both with a hurt damaged face, turning and walking away, down the stairs, leaving the two men completely stunned and a little confused.


	2. The Confrontation

Derek watched her walk away. He wasn't really sure what he wanted. He loved Meredith but he did have an obligation to Addison. He loved Addie too, but not in the same way. He was not the same person he was when he had fallen in love with her and neither was she. Maybe they were just kidding themselves thinking that they would be able to work things out. It had been almost a year since she had shown up in the hospital lobby, but still every time he looked at her he saw her in bed with Mark. There were some hurts that just wouldn't go away, it still hurt him to think about it and it always would. After all hurt hurts, he would have to tell her that it was over.

Finn watched her walk down the stairs. There was something in her voice that had worried him. Something had happened while she was gone...besides Izzie and Denny. He knew there was or had been something between her and Derek and he wanted to find out what it was. He looked at Derek, he looked sad and relieved at the same time. _Maybe I should just go talk to him and find out what is between him and Meredith. I mean why was he calling her and why did she look so depressed and hurt?_, Finn thought. Finn walked toward Derek. "Do have a minute there's something I wanted to ask you?"

_Oh God, he knows. He knows that i just had passionate sex with his girlfriend. What do I say? I really don't need a confrontation in the middle of the hospital, _Derek thought. He inspected Finn's face, he didn't look mad or suspicious. "Yeah, I have a minute" Derek replied trying to sound casual.

" I just ...wanted to know what was between you and Meredith..", he sighed, "and if it was still going on?" Finn asked not totally knowing if he wanted to know the real answer. Or if he should ask Meredith instead of Derek.

Derek turned his head away from Finn, took in a sharp breath, then turned back to him, "We have a past. I'm in love with her. And I will leaving my wife for her. I just hope she takes me back." He looked down at the floor, " If you want the details you should really get them from Meredith. Oh and Meredith doesn't know I'm leaving Addie so I would appreciate it if you didn't tell her". Derek started to walk away.

"Did something happen between the two of you tonight?" Finn called out to him.

Derek stopped walking and turned around to face Finn, "Like I said if you want details you should be talking to Meredith", Derek turned back around going in search of his wife. He knew he left Finn nervous, wondering about the possiblities of what had happened while Meredith and Derek had been gone that evening. He just wanted to go home and go to sleep. He would try to talk to Addison in the morning.


	3. Flashback

Meredith had almost made it out of the lobby before she started to cry. She didn't know what to do, any choice she made would end up with someone getting hurt. She started to run through the rest of the lobby; she felt as if she couldn't breath. As soon as she flew through the door and into the rain she felt better. The cold water streaming down her made her feel like she finally had room to breathe. She stood doubled over for a moment trying to catch her breath, then started walking towards her car.

Meredith opened her car door, climbed in, started the car, and headed home.

_Flashback...there he was siiting in the lobby waiting for me. He was reading and working on something. I love it when he has that intense look on his face. He looked up and saw me walking towards him. "Long day?", he asked seeing the tired expression in my eyes._

_"Yeah," I breathed out softly. He started putting his stuff up and getting ready to leave._

_"Somewhere out there there's a steak with your name on it...and maybe a bottle of wine"_

_I smiled big. He is so wonderful. I really never thought I would have this. " This is why I keep you around". _

_"So we need to talk." he said as he looked up at me with a weird reflection in his face. _

_"Wine first, talk later," it had been way too long of a day for any important talk before she got some alcohol in her._

_"Ah, trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me", He stood up and looked at me jokingly, he was so cute, the brightness in his eyes and the way his entire face lit up when he smiled._

_"haha," I laughed, "I think I like this rules thing"_

_"Me too." He looked into my eyes and then started helping me with my coat at that moment I realized just how strongly I felt about him, all of those emotions just came rushing into me all at once and at that moment I decided that later that night after some wine I was going to tell him how I felt about him. He turned to pick up his things and when he turned back his eyes lingered on something by the front desk. Then he looked at me, touched my arm and said, " Meredith I am so sorry"._

_I looked to see what it was that he was looking at and a tall, beautiful red headed woman was walking towards us. She stoped right in front of Derek and with a smug look on her face she put her hand on her hip. _

_With a sarcastic smile Derek looked at her and said, "Addison, What are you doing here?"_

_"Well you would know if you had bothered to return any one of my phone calls." She turned to me and held her hand out, "Hi, I'm Addison Shepard?"_

_"Shepard?" I asked, I could feel my world crashing down on top me all the things that I was most grateful for and most happy about was about to be torn from my grasp._

_"And you must be the woman whose screwing my husband"_

Meredith shook her head, _I do not want to think about that night right now._ She pulled on to her street and looked at her house. The driveway was already full, both George and Alex had parked there cars there so she pulled up beside the house and parked there. She cut the engine and took a couple deep breaths before heading inside.


	4. Sooner or Later

Meredith walked into the living room. George and Alex were sitting on the couch watching tv. She tossed her purse into a chair and then flopped down in between George and Alex

"So how is she?" Meredith asked keeping her eyes on the tv. None of them were watching it, it was just on for some background comfort noise.

"Not good." George said.

Alex looked down into his glass of water, "She kicked me out her room".

Meredith sighed and started to get up, "I'm going to go change and then I'll go see if she'll talk to me about it". She started heading up the stairs. She was highly doubtful that Izzie would want to talk to her right now...or anyone for that matter. And then again Meredith didn't really want to talk to anyone either, but she needed to make sure that Izzie knew she was there for her.

She opened her dresser drawer and pulled out a pair of pajama pants and her Dartmouth shirt. She looked in the mirror for a second then made a face at herself and sat down on her bed. What she really wanted to do was lay down and sleep for a couple of months until her problems just resolved themselves, but she had to deal with it and better sooner than later.

"Ugh," Meredith sighed getting back up. She changed her clothes and pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail. She walked out of her room and over to Izzie's door, and knocked softly. When she didn't here any response she opened the door a little. "Izzie?" she said...nothing.

Meredith walked in and sat on the bed next to Izzie, "Do want to talk about it?"

"No."

Izzie started to cry quitely. Meredith didn't know what to do so she just sat next to her to be supportive. "Christina was right." Izzie whispered through the tears.

Meredith still didn't what to do so she just waited for her to finish, if she hadn't already. "I didn't really know Denny, not the real Denny. I knew that I liked him and that he was funny and sweet and that he liked me too. But I didn't know his parents names or if he had any brothers or sisters, what he did for a living before he got sick, if he had ever been married...I killed a guy trying to save him when I didn't even know him. I mean--"

There was a knock on the door, then george poped his head in, "Finn is downstairs and he says he really needs to talk to you".

Meredith turned back to Izzie, and Izzie said "Go talk to him, I don't want to talk about it anymore".

**Thank you for reviews. I really need the constructive criticism. Well Let me know if you like it! I'll try to update again soon with the Finn stuff.**


	5. His World Resides Within Your Eyes

_Oh God, why couldn't Izzie just say that she needed to talk or that we were in the middle of a conversation, anything to give me a little time to sort out what i'm going to say! I was NOT planning on having to do this tonight,_ Meredith thought as she was walking down the stairs to meet Finn in the entrance hall.

****"Hey", she said with a smile when she finally reached him. She crossed her arms over her chest and kind of glanced down at her feet. She was too guilty to look at him straight in the eye, and was absolutely terrified of hurting him. She didn't want to be the one who broke him down further after the death of his wife.

"We need to talk...about Derek.", he replied. Finn was almost too scared to have this conversation he thought he already knew what the outcome would be and he really wasn't ready for it. But he had already gotten up the guts to come the house and he made a vow right there and then that he would not back down now. He was going to find out what was going on before it was too late, and before he was in too deep over his head. Better to lose her now then find out in a couple of months that it had all been a lie.

"We should go up to my room to talk about this", Meredith cocked her head in order to get him to follow her up the stairs. She didn't want the rest of the interns to over hear this conversation.

Finn followed her up the stairs staying a little bit backed away from her he didn't want his senses to be filled with her lavender scented self, he knew it would turn him into jello and then he wouldn't be able to stick to his guns, but just then a thought came into his mind, _I wonder if her scent has that effect on Derek... It probably does, _he sighed quickly so that Meredith couldn't hear him, _Well that helped that a little, now I'm thinking about her and Derek._

Meredith held her bedroom door open for him, and motioned for him to have a seat on her bed. She closed the door behind her and tried to brace herself for what was coming. She took a slow, deep breath and took her seat at the opposite side of the bed.

Finn finally broke the silence, "Tell me about you and Derek. I know was something there and I know there probably still is".

"What is it that you want to know exactly?" She asked, she had no idea where to begin.

"The Details."

Meredith took another deep breath and started to talk, "Well, I met him my first night in Seattle. I had gone to the Emerald City Bar to have a few drinks and he came up to me and started flirting. We both got drunk and taking advantage of each other at my house. I thought it would be a one night stand, that I would never see him again." She paused. It was painfull to recap all the hurt that he had caused to her for someone else who knew nothing of her past at all.

"But you did see him again...", Finn urged her on.

She looked up at him with a very serious look on her face. "Yes, the next day, my first day as a surgical intern, and as it turned out he was an attending, one of my bosses. He persued me for awhile before I gave in, I didn't want people to think I was dating him to get ahead, but there was just something about him," she smiled softly to herself, Finn tried not to notice but he did and it hurt him a little, "I fell in love with him, I fell hard and fast." The dreamy look left her eyes and she started to tear up," I thought I was done, that I had met the man that I would spend my life with."

She paused for a moment trying to control her emotions.

_God, it was more serious than I thought. I thought maybe a fling with a married man. She is way more scary and damaged than I thought.How could he have done this to her and then tell me that he loves her, _Finn was waiting for her to continue, he didn't want to rush her, he could tell it was getting hard.

"We had been dating for about four or five months when his wife, Addison, showed up at the hospital. He told me it was over with her and that all he had to do was sign the divorce papers, but when it came down to it he couldn't end his marrige with out trying to make it work again. So, he left me."

"And it has been over since then?" Finn asked hopefully.

" Technically..Yes, until tonight when we ---" Finn cut her off.

"Don't say it, I know what happened, so please don't say it". Finn took a deep breath he couldn't believe what he was about to do, make it easy for her, he actually wasn't too upset, maybe he kind of knew all along. " Derek loves you, he doesn't love his wife. I can tell by the way the way he looks at you. He looks at Addison like an old friend that he has a history with and enjoys spending time with, he looks at you like I used to look at Liz, like the entire world resides within your eyes. If you find something like that you shouldn't give it up without a fight. Maybe we weren't meant for each other, but you were meant to come into my life to show me that it is possible for me to move on...And I will always be thankful for that. Don't give up on Derek." They smiled at each other and before Meredith knew it Finn had walked out and closed her bedroom door behind him.


	6. It's Over, I Know

Derek was sitting at the kitchen table working and waiting for Addison to get out of the shower so he could talk to her.Right after his and Finn's conversation Addison had walked up to him and told him that it had been a long night and she was ready to go home and sleep. There had been an awkward silence all the way home and they had barely spoken two words to each other since they had been home but she had asked him to wait for her before he went to bed so he was.

The bathroom door opened and Addison stepped out. "I'm out" she said quietly. She was dressed in her plaid pajama pants and a white tank top, and her hair was still wet. She looked beautiful but Derek just didn't find her as attractive as he used to.

"Kay, Are you ready for bed then?" he asked with a little smile.

"Yeah." She walked over to the bed and pulled the comforter down and climbed in. "I'm just so tired" she sank into the covers and closed her eyes with a moan.

Derek climbed in next to her and pulled the covers back up over them, Addison turned on her side so that her back was to Derek, Derek turned on his side so that his back was to hers. He heard Addison take in a deep breath.

"Derek...we...--" Addison started but Derek cut her off.

Derek spoke quietly and was terrified at what he was saying. "It's over...I tried but I can't anymore."

Addison opened her eyes and answered into the dark, "I know." She whispered so softly she wasn't even sure if he had heard her.They both closed their eyes and went to sleep.

Addison had woken up a couple hours before Derek and had already called the lawyers to have the papers drawn up and sent to hospital that afternoon. She didn't want to try to draw this thing out like before. They both knew it was over, that it had been for some time now. She was disappointed that her marrige didn't work but all in all she wasn't that upset. She knew it had been coming and had kind of made her peace with it. _Maybe I was just staying out of the fear of having to start my life over, It's not like Derek won't be in my life, we work together I see him everyday at the hospital and maybe in time we can learn to be friends again._she thought to herself.

She heard Derek wake up and then saw him walk into the kitchen to get a glass of water. "Good morning" he said nodding at her.

"Good Morning," she smiled at him, "I have already called the lawyers. They're sending the up papers up to the hospital between three and four, so we can send them back tomorrow. And hopefully the divorce will be final before the end of the week." She was sitting at the table drinking a couple of coffee. (It was actually her fourth so she was starting to get wired.)

"Wow, I wasn't expecting to do all this, this fast." he replied.

"Well, we have both already made our decisions so I didn't think there was any need to draw this out. Besides we already have everything split up and everything worked out."

"Addison, you're still a part of my family you know that right. I don't us to end with you hating me"

"I know, I don't hate you. We aren't the same anymore, not in love the way we used to be. This is good. Now maybe we can both be happy and we can still be friends and be happy for each other...You're going back to Meredith right?" Addison asked taking another sip of her coffee.

"Probably, if she'll have me. Does that upset you?" Derek had now sat down across from her. he was glad they were talking this out instead of yelling at each other.

"Well, it is kind of disearning that you will move on so fast but at least I know you love her and you're not just whoring around. It hurts a little but I understand so I don't hold it against you." she paused knowing what he was thinking, "I don't hate her either...and yes, I know about last night" She stood up, grabbed her briefcase and walked out of the trailer. "I'll pack tonight and go stay in a hotel" She called back.


	7. The Morning After

Meredith woke up the next morning laying right where she had been when Finn left. She rolled over and looked out the window. It was cloudy and raining, granted it is Seattle so that's normal, but the weather seemed to fit the day.

Meredith got up, opened the door and walked out of her room. Izzie's bedroom door was open and Alex was sleeping along side the wall next to her door. Meredith smiled at him and walked over to peek into the bedroom. The bed had been slept in but Izzie wasn't there anymore. Meredith walked down the stairs and saw George and Callie asleep on the couch, she heard a noise in the kitchen and headed towards the noise.

"Hey," Meredith said when she saw Izzie in the kitchen making pancakes. She grabbed a mug, poured herself a cup of coffee, and sat down on one the stools across from where Izzie was standing.

"I woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep so I decided to get up and make breakfast for everyone before you all have to go to work." Izzie replied to Meredith's questioning look. Her blonde hair was messy and pulled back into a bun and she was still wearing the same clothes from the night before.

"Izzie, do you want me to stay home with you today? I can keep you company, we can watch crappy daytime television, eat junk food, and just lounge and be incurably lazy." Meredith asked. She knew Izzie would say no, but she wanted her to know that she was here for her for anything needed, and she really didn't want Izzie to have to spend the first day by herself.

"No, thats okay. Bailey's going to be short an intern anyway, besides Alex already told me last night that he absolutely refuses to go to work this morning. He said he's going to stay here today no matter what. And I think it really wouldn't be good if George and Christina are the only ones, Christina has Burke to think about too." Izzie answered. She glanced at the clock on the wall it said 6:30. "You should probably go wake everybody and tell them I made breakfast...I'm sure no one thought to set an alarm last night."

"Okay" Meredith said. She slid off the stool, grabbed her coffee and went off to wake everybody up.

Meredith was standing in the livingroom over George and Callie there was still some awkward feelings there. "George? Callie?" she whispered. Nothing. "George. Callie." she said a little louder. Nothing. _Okay just do it and get it over with so you can move on to Alex. _she said to herself. "George! Callie!" She almost yelled. They both stirred a little.

"What? What do you want Mer?" George said very sleepily.

"It's time to wake up. We have rounds and Izzie made us breakfast," Callie woke up from George moving around and looked at Meredith, "good morning Callie" she said and then headed up stairs.

She stopped at Alex's feet, and nudged him. "Hey Alex wake up. Izzie made breakfast."

Alex sat straight up, "She made breakfast? But when did she wake up? When I fell asleep she was already sleeping." Alex had an imensely confused look on his face."I can't believe I didn't wake up when she went downstairs." He stood up and walked into the bathroom.

Meredith went into her room changed her clothes and then headed down into the kitchen. When she got into the kitchen everyone was already sitting at the table eating and Izzie had an almost half smile on her face. _It almost looks like we're a real family,_ Meredith thought simling on the inside all the while.


End file.
